Life of Riley's

Lier ...lier pants on fire!

2012-01-13T09:26:00.000-08:00

I kinda had to post this this morning because I finally had the last straw with my 6 year lying to get out of trouble. Said she was going to finally have to spend the day in her room for lying to me. Sad thing is I always give her prompts to tell me the truth and she sometimes does but most the time doesn't. She get so focused on not getting in trouble for the small thing she just LIES through her teeth. I have always threatened the day in her room but never really had the heart to do it. Plus that sux for me can't go anywhere. I saw this quote after this all went down I started feeling like I may have done the above. I know she is still young but I think this is when you have to teach the harder things in life like being nice to others (even when it hard) and not lying to get out of what you don't want to deal with. If I don't make it hard for her when she lies I believe she will just continue to lie mostly because she has. We have been threatening this consequence for the past year. Like I said I have never followed all the way through because she is so young that 2 or 3 hours in her room could seem like forever so we always let her out after a while. I am really trying to do the right thing by teaching her this. I was taught this from my parents and I believe it is what has helps me to be a person with integrity and honor. Plus I was never allowed to run away from my problems or the consequences of my decisions. To be honest ( since we are talk about that...hahaha) I haven't tolerated being lied to EVER. If someone I loves lies to me I see it for what it is and either call them out on it or I make a mental note to not trust them if they want to lie. I think when you really think about it there is never a time when its OK to lie. It really is just a way to run away from what you don't want to say to someone or deal with. White lies are all to common in today's world what use to be a matter of manners sometimes gets justified as I don't want to hurt so I will lie. So anyways, I guess I am just trying to figure out when I should make this a matter of consequence to my children. So I did some research on the matter this the website

I used .... http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/Specific%20Concerns%20and%20Problems/lying.htm

I feel like it helped me get a better grip on what I am doing with her at her age. I am going to speak with my husband and I think we'll be having to make a new consquese because I think ALL day is a bit much for her at her age. Maybe if she is still doing as she gets older like pass the age of 8 . Then an all day room consequence might be called for. When they can ACTUALLY tell time. Hahahahaa. Here's to the challenges we face a parents! Grrrrr

Learning a lot lately

2011-12-12T17:04:00.000-08:00

Well I am doing another entry on the place of peace I have come to this past month. I have been cleaning out my messy emotional closet lately. I have had some really great "aha" moments. There has been some friend to friend discussions that have helped drive thoughts home But most of it is due to watching a few of Oprah's Life Classes. She is an amazing women who have watched all while I grew up. I have a tremendous amount of respect for her. I have seen her become this assertive Icon for the world. I love how she is about sharing joy and change to her viewer. I think meeting her is on my bucket list for sure.
She has started this new project were you sign on for her "Life" Class. She teaches through her life and through life changing moments that doing her show taught her. She picks a thought each week and drives that thought home with true stories from her show that teaches her method of living now later in her life. I know I would like to be more like her ....haha. So I ventured into watching an episode one evening when I had nothing else to watch. And it WAS life changing......

The first one I watched was about Paula Dean. Mind you I didn't sign up for the classes on line I just jumped in with the first one on when I turned my Direct TV on. As it started I could already tell I was going to love watching. I had no idea how that episode was going to drive home everything I was trying to sort through for the past year. There it was being spoon fed to me like a hungry child. lol It was about two or three main stories. In between she talks about what she learned from hearing there story and what person learned. I found myself rewinding to rehear the phases she said so I could make mental notes in my head. "Being responsible for the energy you bring into a situation and being responsible for allowing an energy to be in your space." Seems like a simple enough thing to do and say. Until you really hear what she is teaching. She really talks about how these ideas will be what allows you to become your full potential not what BOX other people put you in. I realized I let my power go...when I am not responsible for the energy I put out and for the energy other people put in my life. There was so much more to this episode. The stories alone were absolutely worth hearing even if that's all you take from this class.
Then I realized in a world of commercial television were so much light and knowledge could go out to the viewers, very little does. I am so thankful for Oprah's creativity and joy she shares with the world. There are lot of classes I have missed. So far I have watched around 8 episodes and just watched one tonight. Again I left feeling emotionally fed and ready to try to apply the method into my life. ...."When someone shows you who they are...believe them!" I can really only watch one a week because it takes me that long to apply it in my mind. I keep the ones that I REALLY need to work on. I delete the ones I think I can't watch again either because it was something I have already learned and only needed a reminder or it was too hard for me to watch. She does have one that I watched a few weeks ago about ...."Love doesn't hurt" I had a hard time watching that one and there was another one on "Being in the present moment" I barley made it through those ones because they were very powerful and had some really hard true life stories. Even though, I am glad I watched the episodes. I realized even if I don't want to watch them again I needed a reminder of that lesson ...for sure!

My anniversary ....9 YEARS!

2011-11-30T23:03:00.001-08:00

Wanted to share a few thoughts about it being my 9 year today. Nov 30th 2002

Look how young and SERIOUS we look in this photo. We are ready to take on the world! I could go on about how dreamy he was to me, how he was my knight and on and on. Really I want to point out how THANKFUL I am to have made it to 9 years with my MAN.
Marriage is tough cookies. Its like wearing a business suit everyday to work. Coming to a place where to know one another so well that you can WORK for each other. I never get the idea about "My marriage is falling apart ....and I don't know why?" Yes you do! One of you has stopped working. Marriage is meant to be hard. That is why it so divine and sacred. If it were a walk in the park it wouldn't mold and shape you into a better person. We have been through some REALLY hard paths so far ....I say so far, because I think what I have been through is hard but I know MORE lies ahead. Which is ok! Trust is what everyone knows makes a marriage function. I believe that TRUST is not only about how much your BOTH working in the marriage. Its also about YOU knowing with every fiber of your being you've been through trials and you have tools for YOU to make it through them again. Oddly, its not really about what the other person does that gives out TRUST because you are the one who makes your way NOT them. I can't MAKE my companion LOVE me, work FOR me and make him want who I WANT him to be. I can only trust that I have the tools to handle what trial is before me and know I WILL make it through better for it. In that I find my peace. That KNOWING I have given my all, 100% and owed my part in the mistakes. Then there is no regret for having been through the tough times because you would change having gone through them if you could. I am married to a man who has loved me when I have been difficult to LOVE, shared his needs when he felt it was useless and spoke his truths when it was hard for me to hear. Learning to be free from each other so you can help and not hinder. So can truly listen. Learning to cling to each other through each others trials. So no one feels abandoned.
One of my favorite saying from a marriage councilor was .....(yes counseling is not a bad thing..haha)

"I will walk with you to hell my friend as you work
but if you do not work then you can go to hell yourself."

What freedom in that saying! I am in control of my own life EVEN in a marriage. I can choose to stay or go. If I can say that I have tried MY 100% and owned my short comings then that brings peace. I am thankful for the Heavenly Father and Savior's hand in my marriage. Through the Holy Ghost I was able to see that I had a true companion that loves my husband and me more then I could ever comprehend. His ever watchful eye in my life was there all the time. I didn't realize how close they where until I went through troubling times. I wouldn't change it for all the riches in the world.

I love you baby. Thank you for loving me even at my worst!

Finding a new way.

2011-11-22T13:16:00.000-08:00

This is a post of a post I published on a website for ADHD parents and adults that I resonantly joined. I have been doing a lot research on parenting and coping with ADHD as adult. I am now not too afraid to look at or say that, I am a mother with ADHD and have a daughter with it. I am so glad there are places for me to read information about this disorder so I don't have to feel alone. Here is the post I did.....

I am an adult with ADHD Addition Deficit Hyper Disorder. I was unaware of there being a name to my monster until I was a Freshman in high school. Even though my mother thought I may have it as early as the second grade, she chose not to medicate me because of the all to familiar scare of Ritalin. Even after thinking I may have this as a freshman I still was not medicated until I was a Junior.
School, was I have to say, the hardest part for me as a whole with having this disorder. Actuality anywhere their was a teacher involved and a class room (church, studios ect.) were I was expected to follow.
Being an unaware child in my elementary years, I was a joyful and over loving child. I was boundariless when it came to friendship and relationships. Loving without thought, with so much energy to give of myself. I traded it for affection, adoration and approval there was little thought of myself in this equation. I learned how to adapted to my environment at school very quickly to gain approval were I was told it was important. At the cost a lot of the time of my self worth. Teacher didn't understand me and I was defiantly not excepted by my peers. Although I didn't have a hard time making friends it was usually not a healthy friendship. My "eager to please" habit started a down hill suffocation to my worth as a living being on this earth. Leading me unto waters where I was taken advantage of by adult males. Which in turn just kept my self worth at a all time low when I would return to school. There are many memories in my childhood at school that are not very pleasant. That I am sure would make most of the people involved today blush with embarrassment with how they acted. My school life was full of these types of situations. Being spit on and kicked in the legs because I couldn't fit in. Undressed on the playground surround by a group of popular kids in the 5th grade who I thought were my friends. Belittled in front of a class full of peers by teachers who couldn't tolerate my inability to follow the class environment. One one such occasion my mother stepped in after one teacher had hurt me so bad I was beginning to pee the bed, call home for school every other day, cry at the drop of a hat when I just couldn't get it RIGHT. She pretty much placed me in teachers who had worked with my siblings after that so she knew the personality of the teacher to minimize the damage. Home life was good but I wasn't excepted by my siblings very well either. They tolerated me at times but had a difficult time with full connection with me. Name calling wasn't just at school my sibling did this as a way to lighten the difficulty of dealing with me at home. All in all I did have a healthy family life. With a stay at home mother who had very loving walls in teaching us how to function. A hard working father who showed his emotions and loved us all unconditionally. So don't judge my parents too harsh they where defiantly present. They just had there hands full with 4 kids. My oldest brother has ADD or hypo mania (he isn't really willing to to find out....which another story) and My older sister has terminal illness called Cystic Fibrosis and My father, who was the first to know what to call his monster. He self diagnosis himself after reading an ADD book. Then went to a doctor to explain his concerns. I was almost 16 by this time. My poor mother trying to do damage control on all of us as we grew up. (I do have one more brother in the family that has no diagnosis. He has a personality a lot like my mothers.)
There wasn't information out in the educational field on ADD in the late 80's early 90's. What there was, scared parents from medications and good luck with information on occupational therapy. I always felt like there was three people inside me one who watched everything like a movie (my true self), Monster 1 who reacted and Monster 2 who talked loudly ALL the time. Little could make it past the the two gray fogs. Try as the viewer may, the other personalities just took control and steered the vessel. Wanting to bring peace to my out of control world, I would throw myself under the bus to the monsters and everyone who told me I wasn't enough. Little did I know I was NEVER going to fit in. I was bound for a much more potential then I had ever thought possible at such a young age.
I learned to manage through life letting experiences tell me how to be. In a way helping me function with my nameless disorder so I could be worth something. That didn't work maybe this will. I learned to try to learn form my own and other people mistakes so I would have to be hurt anymore. People began to gravitate towards me. "Normal does not play well with fun" I would tell myself in high school all the time. Being so full of life and energy I was always ready to play. I found outlets like theater and singing that I could be free from unified form and conditions. Interestingly I really gravitated towards boundaries and limitations. Classical Ballet was one of the things I clung to through school. Which I find so funny with how difficult and disciplined an old art form like this is to achieve. Although I was very talented in the many art forms. I really LOVED Ballet. I remembering crying at the barre because I want to focus so bad. I would watch the combination just to have the music turn on and my mind would draw a blank. Embarrassed that everyone else got it and I didn't I would beat myself up. My Monsters where right there to join in on the feed. This was my inter dialoged for 3 to 5 years when I approached something I wanted. Not being able to see through the two other monsters in my mind. I would yell ...Try harder!!! One thing that is interesting about having ADD is that you have the ability to hyper focus on things that interest you. School did not interest me but I knew I had to pass school to get on with my life to the things that did. I came to realize in my junior year of school I could no longer ignore my situation. With a 1.8 grade average my monsters had clearly taken the wheel and I was watching my dreams slip out from underneath me. In 1997 when my father finally was diagnosed with ADD, a door flew wide open for our family. He was able to finally be himself. So, I went in to have a full evaluation done my Junior year of High School. With in one month of talking the meds and a few dosing changes I went from a 1.8 grade average to a 4.0 in one semester of school. I also became better at all my talents and reached new highs in my friendship because I could control my monsters. Which is so funny because that all you hear about the drugs for ADD. They make you less of who you are. I'm not saying that every mg of prescription is perfect for every person.
I just wanted to touch on how I personality lived the life with out meds. Leaving me as an adult with emotional scars from having no worth as a child with ADHD. I often think how much more I could have been if I would have had meds sooner. Seeing that I was not given a choice, I now know I was given my trials so I could be who I am today. I just think I would have less emotional scars if I would have been able to be the REAL me through my most influential years of education.
Ironically, I am now looking at making these same choices for my oldest daughter who shows signs of ADHD. I fought with myself not wanting even look at the possibility of her having it. Fearing she would have to go through her life with this disorder. I realized that she won't have to go through my experiences because I am going to make a new way for her. I will use ALL the tools that are out there for her and she will be able to use this disorder to help her really focus on her interests and be a light to those around her because of her energy and joy. This what I hope people who read this journal get from it..... ADHD can be used to make someone better. You just have to give them all the tools to build there ship. There ship may look different then there neighbors but it will stay afloat and even may look cooler!

....After posting this I realized there was some "aha" moments for me while writing this. I realized for the forst time in my life I could give words to my afflictions in my past. It was something I always wanted to share but didn't have the words and theories in my mind yet to get it meaning. I am sure I will be adding to this because of now being Mj mom I will have a whole new set of rules to learn. I am thankful for all those people in my life that loved me dispite the disorder I have. That see me for the real me and try to lift me up. That is the energy I want in my future. I am barly learning to own my energy that I bring into an experience so I'm hoping to post more on this as I grow.

Wow the summer is flying by.....AHHH!

2011-08-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

Ok its not Aug....This was a post that I was obviously trying to get out before the summer ended but ....it didn't happen because I am now looking at getting Mj Halloween costume ready...haha. YES the summer did fly by...bye bye. Just thought it was funny that I never got back to this post.

So here is some highlights of the past 5 months.

Bo turned 2. What a big day for him. He loves to play with his trucks and loves people he is so friendly where ever we go he says HI and smiles and when we leave he does the same thing with "BYE". I think his hair is getting REDDER every day. He has cute little freckles all over his cheeks. Its not a surprise that people just want to eat him up when we go out. hahaa.

I performed a solo on pointe for the Idaho Falls School of Ballet end of the year show. I am still not at my ideal weight for being on pointe but I wanted to increase my workout in class so I started training again after my last child Bo. What a really fun experience. It the first time I've performed on stage alone in a long time. I have loved being apart of this school. I have more opportunities then I have had in the past with other studios. I believe this school is one of the best schools in Idaho Falls for training and education of Classical Ballet. I am very thankful for being able to teach and learn at this school.

Didn't have very many pictures but here is one of the pictures from the performance. If I can upload the performance I will try My man recorded it for me. as much as he LOVES going.

Mj graduated from Preschool! Yes I know it doesn't seem possible the she could sit long enough to get her diploma but she did in her own little way. She stole the show among 40 kids she kept making the audience laugh. I tried to catch some of the funny things she was doing but it was so dark in the theatre that they didn't turn out all that great. I will post a video if I can get to to upload. Her Nana and grandpa came in from Boise. Nana got a kick out of her for sure.

Barney/Dixion

Empy reunion

Went to some family reunions as always this summer this one was the first for me in a long time. I use to go this side of the families reunions every year up until I was about 14. Our family was the there the last year it ran. They just started meeting for a potluck lunch again a few years back. It was nice to see how many people I didn't even know that I was related to. hahaha. I'd pass them right on the street and never think twice.

My Mare Sassy had a BABY! She is way bigger now and already weened from her mommy but "Gigi" is super cute and very curious about people. I'll be posting more about her I am sure as she continues to grow up.

Lots of fun at parks and playing outside. I posted a few of the fun places we went to all summer.

Jamie came in! Mj loved it. As always when Jamie comes or goes there are always tears evolved. But mj talks about her all the time and love to play with her. Bo talks about her too and shows everyone the bracelets she made for them.

We went to meet my bestee at the Rose Garden in Utah. She got us in with her and her kids. It was well worth the drive there and we are so glad she had planned to do that with her kids that day. My kids loved seeing all the beautiful flowers and hiking. It was a nice break from the norm "shopping".

Mj and I sitting next to a Flower BED...hahaha...get it.

We went to Lagoon. Mj and Bo loved it. My niece came with us to help with the kiddos she had fun playing in the park on her time off from helping. D and I played with the kids until afternoon while my niece rode the rides. We took the kiddos back to my sister in laws house. The kids played with my niece while my Man and I went back on a little date. It was a nice get away.

Bo got to ride more rides this year! He loved them. Its so fun to she your kids learn things in this world. How they are so fascinated by the small things. I've forgotten how special the small things really are as I get roughed around in this harsh world. Kids help you remember JOY in the simplicity of life.

The OTHER amazing thing we did is go to the Katy Perry concert that weekend. We were so excited we got the tickets way back in April. It was an amazing show of course....it is Katy Perry. She is super fun and I think D fell in LOVE. That is all he talked about for weeks after. Still to this day if he sees anything on her he totally stops and looks at it. hahaha.

Why not she totally super cute!!

In August I had a chance to be apart of a Photographing Shoot with 40 + Photographers. It was a great experience. I had so much fun and it was really cool to have so many of them working with you at the same time. We had Professional hair and makeup done for the shoot. There were only 5 models and they were all younger then me by at lest 8 years. So I felt a bit old. But guess what! My photo Won!!! Talk about a nice ego boost right before my 31st birthday. LOVE the one above. The photo of me that won is below. Same photographer as above.

This is from a photographer out of Twin Falls Travis Gadsby. (another one of my favorites) He was the first one to send me photos from the shoot. I have to say I was impressed with the photographers that where quick to post pictures for the models to see their work. It just goes to show who the professionals are that show some grace to the people they work with.

(The Above) Is Not one of my husbands favorites he thinks I look frumpy and like a druggy. haha. When I model it seems you do have to know your angles hahhaa. I have to say I need to make sure this doesn't happen too often. I haven't modeled in a long time I really want to get better at it. Any shoot where I can get the photographer to work with my angles is awesome for my training.

This one is from a photographer out of Idaho Falls. All of the costume was my stuff. (usually not worn this way...hahaha) but I brought a tote or two for the shoot. Just told the host to pick whatever she wanted for her shoot. I was happy that she picked such a rockin' outfit. I love to create Art in any Medium its so fun to be someone else for a day.

Mj started school! We signed her up for the charter school and she won in the lottery! She loves it, well I think I love it more then her. It works with her personality and they really take a personal interest in each child. Their standard of excellence for each student so personalized to each child. I couldn't have picked a better place for her to be.

Mj was having a difficult time adjusting to going to Kindergarten. So we changed up her positive reinforcement at home to get her to stay forced in school. It worked! So the first thing she asked for was to go to the Hoogle Zoo in Utah so she could she the Elephants and Lions. She loved the trip and we had alot of fun too playing with our friends. We staying a hotel one of the nights. The kids loved the pool and I have to say I enjoyed it too. It was a great last trip before the winter. Gotta love Idaho winters.....NOT!

This was one of her favorites.

Don't feel like it.

2011-05-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

You know when you just don't feel like postin. You know you should because you have to post about other things that have just happened. Well that's what this is . I needed to post on Easter. It was super fun for my kids I am sure But I really didn't have that great of a time in my personal life during Easter this year. The trip and family time was fun. But every time I think about posting Easter I get a knot in my stomach. I am just getting on with it and posting a few pictures that I liked that I didn't up load on to FB.

Super cute faces and there looks of total wonderment.

Here is our family photo
(thanks to my little niece. Love you!)

We had a really great Easter was really busy but got to see all of my mans fam. Not much time of much else. I wanted to post these because I am going to be doing a new post on 2nd chance prom. So have to play catch up....hahahahaaa.

My name is Con and these are my shoes!

2011-04-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

My little girl has pretty much decided from the get go that she is not going to be feminine AT all. So I have let go of my dream of a little girl following in my footsteps as a dancer. Realizing, I may be on the side lines of sports games instead. Sports is something I barley tolerated in school. what can you say when your daughter runs with boys plays with boys dresses like a boy. Something I learned from my mother is "Pick your battles". I want her to be who she wants to be not what I predisposed her to be when she was a glimmer in my eye.

The Soccer Mom life began this year when D had her sign up for local Soccer. She loves it. When I mean "loves it" - she asks me everyday if she has practice or a game. We have learned to not tell her when its game or practice day because she would ask about it so often I felt like I was taking CRAZY PILLS. She has LOTS of energyand she has a very aggressive "Take No" personality. All things that will help her when she gets on the field to play. If she can just stay focus long enough....hahaha.

Here are some shots from the last two games she played. When she walks out to get onto the field she has this really masculine strut. I think I laugh at EVERY single time she does it. Hilarious, by far one of my favorite things about her. I LOVE that she is just knows who she wants to be even at age 5.

Daddy keeping Bo entertained thats a hard job for sure!

Mj and her coach

My lit'le soccer player is cold!

Super excited because she finally scored a goal!

Here is some video of her in action! They're pretty funny to watch.

Found a few things to share!

2011-04-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

So I have been looking for these to two books for, lets just say.... while!!! They were lost, one my friend switched me for her suggested book and the other I loaned to a friend, it took a while for her to find it. I loved these book and I try to read them once a year. I am a BIG reader of self help books. Reading about something or an idea that gives me a whole new out look on life is fascinating to me. These are some good reads for sure! I talk about what I think they help with but really they are just good books. They where recommended to me through people I trust like almost anything I pick up to read.

This book is a short book you could read this in like 4 hours. I can not tell who much this book helped me to understand people. So have you ever left a conversion or a situation with someone and felt hurt or frustrated but couldn't put your finger on why you felt bad? Girls can relate to this because in high school its how girls interact with each other....."You wear that so well...I mean I would NEVER wear that but you wear it SO well". Hahaa. Yah I am sure we have ALL had out share of that. But this book teaches you how to deal with people who are this way and how to stop feeling hurt by them.
Side note* If you work in the work place this is a MUST read for you.

This is a book that come out a counciling sessions I had earlier in my marriage. I would have to say is one of the books that changed how I proseved my life and my husband. I think sometimes we wait TOO long before we reach out for help. The time is now for you to understand your spouse. Men love there women to read this book just because of the title. But It really does work! I mean you still have to TALK but a lot less....hahaha. This has some worksheets in it for you to do even so really get down and dirty with learning it completely. Love hands on stuff like that. If your spouse leaves u alone a lot or just always seems to "checkout" or even if you find yourself saying the SAME things over and over....this book is for you!

**GO TO MY BOOK SHELF ON MY SIDE BAR TO BUY THEM FOR YOURSELF!**

Would you like Jell-o with that?

2011-03-08T21:17:00.000-08:00

I had forgotten how yummy this childhood treat is! Recently, I decided to go on this "No sugar" Diet for a few weeks to see what I could trim off my arms, waist and inner thy before my Ballet performance in May. It was funny how your mind talks you into how much you NEED sugar. I replaced my naughty treats for more natural one like fruit and honey. The jello was in place of desserts after meals. It was hard and sadly, really didnt see any changes on the scale after a full two weeks. I felt trimmer. On a side note we celibrated with a FREE day were we ended up spending close to 50 dollars on CRAP because we had soooo many treats we had wanted to eat. So the lesson I am taking from this is....Low sugar is a better way to go. I think part of me just wanted to see if I could do it. I like challenges. So now my next quest is to try the low sugar and add a "low carb" diet for a week to see what that does. Its been interesting to try to think of ways to eat things I like more healthy like; tacos and sandwiches ect. I won't see dramatic results in one week but I think I will get down into the twenties. This is where I was before I had my second baby. I'm just looking to firm up some of the last parts of my body that "yes" seem weird for me to be complaining about. I have been told I am ALREADY thin. But I DO have to see myself in a leotard every other day in wall to wall mirrors and every pound I have extra I carry in every leap and bound across the floor. Haaa. The joys for being in love with a demanding art form. So to the average women I seem careless and OC. I would invite my accusers to stand in my stead and see if you don't want to knock a few pounds off for good measure. I knew that Ballet was in my soul and blood at a very young age. Its been a love hate relationship, one that I will never be happy with until I mastered my body and mind. Created a world within it for myself. A space I could be a peace with. This is why I am in my 30s and still dancing. I hope to be dancing when I am 80. The child within me will never die if I feed it and play....bottoms up to the childish treat of Jell-O. jiggle jiggle

Within

2011-02-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

Here is one of my new pieces of art work. In the past few weeks I have been battling a few things. "Within"is obviously a picture of myself; it reflects me as Adult with ADHD. Also a mother who has started to see signs of this in her daughter. ADHD was horrible to me in the public school system and socially. I felt helpless to peoples judgments at my in ability to control my focus and my actions. Reticule and abandonment was often too much the response I received from my family members, peers and teachers. People just could figure me out, who could blame them, I couldn't even figure me out. At a very young age I began to know it also was a gift. A wonderful gift of the ability to create, think outside of the box; do things differently then everyone else. My mind could create things some people could only watch in movies or read in books. I began to use different forms of Art as a way to step out of the world and into my own safe place. I found safe places to stand so I could breath in my own skin with out being scared to stand tall. Another gift was the being able to love people so much; I would cry if they cried, feel their sorrow and see them for them for who they really are. In so many words to "Love Much". Over the years of people hurting me and taking advantage of this in me I lost it. I am now seeking to find this beautiful child that I lost so many years ago to this hard world. I feel this represents this battle, one I hope I can help my daughter through without loosing her beautiful wings.

(I will be posting some more art work later of the other thoughts I have been processing in my life lately.)

Meme

2011-01-25T13:56:00.000-08:00

Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes a few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

In the past two weeks since my best friends returned from her trip to Cali I have really wanted to go and see her. Its weird how you just know when you need a curtain friends championship. So I began talking with her about going to see her and when would be a good time. We came to the conculition that it may be too difficult at this time with my kids and her schedule to get something going. Plus My Man wasn't too hott on the idea of being alone all weekend. But again the feeling came this past weekend and I can't really explain why I just feel this aching to go. I decided to ride down on the shuttle that my aunt works at because its a good deal and I can relax for most of the trip. I began the process of finding the sitters to watch my kids for the first of the week so that I could stay long enough to make the trip worth going. With no avail I hit a road block and was looking at not being able to go with out dumping my beautiful children on already over whelmed friends and family. I kept thing "I guess you really don't have to go...it is just a spur of the moment trip." I listed under the fact I had not seen her in a few months. I now know that it is something more then that. I have often went several months without seeing her and never really thought to much about the time duration between our visits. Almost as if knowing "I will see her soon..." But this time is different. This morning I received a call for her mother. Urgently asking me to call her back when I got her message. As I said "hello", she began to tell me to not worry about a thing and that she would watch the kids so that I could go see her daughter. Floored because her mother is always busy. This is a women who works most of the time until 2 am in the morning to make sure everything is squared away with business and even takes business on vacations with her to get it done. I gladly excepted. Beaming I called my bestee to tell her (part of me knew she was behind it) she told me over the phone..."I can tell in your voice that you need to come stay with me". She is a childhood friend that has known me through so many different periods of times in my life. They sometimes can see and hear things you have chosen not to listen to. It tugged at my hearts strings and I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. Pausing for a moment feeling that warmth. Its hard to explain the love I have always had for Meme. She is always amazed me with her quick wit, strength to bare her trials and find herself through self reflection. Many things that most people do not do at all or not very gracefully she does all the time. Her "Because life is hard and then you die" attitude has helped me realize its always going to be hard. Life is just hard but you can let yourself be molded when you are tested or let it make you hard. She has became so much more then what I thought she would be when we where in high school. Although I loved her and knew she was strong I feared for her testimony going into the harsh world. She blows me away every time I talk with her about her ideas and thoughts on life. Teaching me through simple things how to manage through the crap life can dish out. I can not wait to spend time just paling around, having 2 hours talks about just one idea.....to a man that sounds HORRIBLE! To a girl that is how we cope, learn and heal. I love my friends and think of them all often. I hold my friends dear and cultivate my friendships as much as I can, with out my husband saying "OK I am here too!"...Hahahaha. Below are a few pictures of my creative and talented close friend.

Meme is a spectacular Jazz and Hip Hop dancer/teacher. She started taking Ballet with me when she lived closer and was improving so much that we took the same classes and she had no problem keeping up. She always pushes herself to be the best at whatever she tries.

In one of my older posts I have a section where I talk about going to see her perform this summer with her new band. She has a beautiful voice, we sung together throughout high school and after. Just recently she decided she was going to learn how to play the acoustic and electric guitar. She is doing so good that she keeps up with the other girls in her band that have been playing longer. She has even started giving me a run for my money on playing with her too. I have had to start practicing more trying to get up so we can play together when we see each other.

Where oh where has my hip joint gone....

2011-01-19T14:35:00.000-08:00

Ok so normally my posts are usually about my family and things we have been doing and LOTS of pictures. But every once in a while I actually use this blog for what I intended it to be and that is a space for me to document my life. So this week is one of those times that I will try to reclaim myself and speak of the thoughts in my mind.

First off, Yes, the picture above is of me....I am sure you all knew that if you know me at all but just encase there is someone reading this blog for the first time I have a love/hate relationship with the art form Classical Ballet. This started pre-teen and pretty much has consumed my extra time since. I have a bio but no need to get that formal ha ha ha. Anyways, I have never really had any injuries from dancing up until I TURNED 30! Then I just started falling apart. I nursed a big toe fracture or what I decided had to have been something pretty bad because it took 6 months to heal. No one could figure out why the blasted thing hurt all time and was super weak. After some family members mentioned bunions (A dancer worse nightmare) I freaked and thought for sure I was doomed to live a life of pain until I went under the knife. So I set out to seek the professionals. Little did I know they no NOTHING about ballet but I am sure they know ALOT about sports injuries. Hmmmm. The thought has come to mind that this dilemma maybe because I live in a remote area where ART is a thing a child makes in school and it couldn't possible be a REAL job. So Doctors here just look at you with that glazed look in their eye like....Really mmm, so you say you can't go UP on your big toe in "what do you call them" TOE shoes. (Just to clarify, I did said Pointe Shoes twice but they say what they have been taught). Which then leads to well ....much of nothing because after a few x-rays and manipulations they tell you in their words...what your momma always said .... "maybe you should stop doing that if it hurts." Lucky me it finally healed on its own and I was in hallelujah for a few months until just this past Oct my hip socket started killing me when I would bend over and my extension went from past my shoulder to 90 degrees without pain. So I, of course, thought I had pulled muscle. Thought it would pass decided to just dance lighter. You can probably tell from the tone of this entry it has not.... here we are 3 MONTHS later and I still have pain. Ive been sitting on ice, had 4 Chiropractic appointments...one full one hour massage and a few half ones from My Man. Thats not including the daily racket ball massages into my galoots! (By the way THAT freaking hurts) Only then did I get some relief for 1 week until I started dancing again! My STUPID hip with not stay in position. Largely I think this is do to having 2 babies. My hips just move more since this last one who is now 20 mths. I had such anxiety about turning 30....and who could blame me after whats happened now that I have turn this rotten age...to which dancers HATE. I guess its just one more trial in my book of challenges with this Art form. One more thing to figure out and concur. Things I work on in every class I teach and take. With the hopes to one day to be all that I set out to be at age 11. I decided long ago that even if it takes into my 60's I will still be dancing. What I wonderful life for me.......crack!

The Nightmare Before Christmas

2010-12-28T15:00:00.000-08:00

"What a funny title" is what I know you are all thinking.....hahaha....and you are right is it. But first off, that is one of the shows I just love. I pretty much like anything that is out of the box, well and some things that are in the box too. Just to be honest completely and that is me I cant lie worth crap. Even as an actress.....you would think I would not suck at not telling the truth. sadly this has been my lot in life but I bare it proudly...hahaha. Ok to get to the Second point or the REAL reason now, I Just thought it was funny that I still had not posted about Ol Hollows Eve and here it is Christmas! So I am going to play catch up. So you will have to scroll through the horror to get the to the Blessed Holiday we just celebrated as a family.

Here is some of my decor for the holiday

Master Bedroom

Living Room

I put these little guys into every lantern I owed

Our outsides was also decorated here is my little princess sitting by one of the trees we decorated with ghost's and orange lights.

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Nana came in for the holiday and for D and Mj's birthday

Here we are at the trunk R treat

Mj had snack for her birthday party at her preschool....She brought little planets with there own astronauts on them...hahahaha

Bo after we trick or treated some. I took this in a pitch black car and this was the picture I got! What a cutie.

Really intense....as always

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My Starnna came to see me at the first of November.....a long awaited trip. We has so much fun we went on a date with one of D's friends from work. It was super fun. Well that was until we decided to take the 68 Camero.

Here we are happily driving..when all of a sudden...

THE BRAKES LOCKED UP as we were getting of the interstate! We saw are life flash before our eyes and it made for a very interesting conversion. One we will remember for a life time.

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Mj and My Mans Birthdays!

Number 5.....awha.

Number.......drum roll......32!

WOW this is a horrible picture of ME I am so looking my age....hahaha....but we cleaned up our massive yard before it snowed the next day....we were SUPER lucky. It was a huge job but made easier with my brothers "leaf picker upper" you hook to your lawn mower....yah I dont know the name of that.

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8 Years as of November 30th! "Yah, 5 happy years" (My Mans favorite joke when anyone asks how long we have been married)

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My Grandpa on my mother side turned the big 80~ so they had a family bash. Here is my two childhood buddies.....well Ja was irritated by me when I was little but we became super close after I was in high school. And the other girl is my bestee cousin. She is expecting and ended up having her water brake two months early and is sitting in a hospital room as of two weeks ago and they think she will have to say 6 more weeks there. CRAZY. I pray for her and her baby to be healthy and ok.

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FAMILY PHOTOS

TOO many to choose from!

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Oh Christmas Tree....

The stocking where hung by the chimney with care......

CHRISTMAS MORNING 2010

This Christmas is the start of many for my children. Mj is old enough to 'get it', she is super excited. Have to say, I may be more excited then her to see her face in the morning. I love the tradition of Santa. Someone out there that just LOVES you. Something that I think needs to be thought about more. Thankful for... a beautiful child born in a stable. I know lives, loves me and knows me by name. Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!

Just for Nana

2010-12-14T23:00:00.000-08:00

We waited to see Santa at the mall this past Saturday .....45 mins later we got to see him. I wouldnt have waited that long but we opened our big mouths and promised the kids they would see Santa that day. So we held up to our end of the deal.

Bo had about had it!

Mj couldnt wait....

Below is my friend and her kiddos they tagged along it was nice to have them it made the wait much easier!

Remembering a Christmas Miracle

2010-12-09T15:35:00.000-08:00

Pretty sure I post on this every year for the past three years so sorry if you have began to get bored with it but let me just say before you tune me out and skip through to the end...The reason I post on the every year is because it reminds me of what is important in this holiday season. If you have never had a chance to touch a real miracle this story is for you! Jamie's life is a true story well biography you could say of one miracle after another. A story that I am so thankful to have has a front row seat to all my life. Her sacrifice was my gain as I learned through her hardships how to love more and need less....a lesson I sadly need over and over again. This year I reflected on the letter Jamie wrote to her beloved Donor....(you can read this on her blog) But I am going to post it here and my response. I hope this gives you love in your heart this Christmas season and don't forget to share its warmth with others.

Dear Donor, How I long so much to know your name. I would speak it with much admiration and love. Another year has come and gone and I have taken care of your lungs as I promised. The gift you have given is one that cannot be purchased at any mall or in any store. You gave me the gift of life, the gift of love and the gift of sacrifice. I know this time of year must be difficult for the family you left behind. I think of the presents they had wrapped with your name on them that you never got to open. . . I can only imagine the sorrow they felt December 9th 2007. I honestly think of you every day. I may not know what kind of life you lead or the things you accomplished while you were here on earth, but I am grateful that you chose to be an Organ Donor, my Hero. One of my Christmas wishes every year for the last three, have been peace and blessings upon your family and loved ones. With more sincerity than I could ever express in words I want to tell you how much I love you! I love you and I know I will get to meet you in the next life. That we will be joined as the sisters that we are. I can't wait until I can thank you face to face when we are reunited in Heaven. You are my Angel, my Hero, and my friend.
.....My Response to her post: What a beautiful reminder of what is important in life! I am sitting here crying...I cry every time I think back to how close we where to losing you and how someone else had to die for you to live....it so much like the story of Christ that it just pulls at my heart strings. He was born knowing he would die much like you...then died so all may live....much like your donor died for you so that you might live. I am thankful for being able to see first hand a wonderful true story...a miracle as in the bible times. Love you always even if you are faraway. Mwah!

Part 10-12: The last of the lost memories of the Summer

2010-11-15T14:53:00.000-08:00

This is a BIG post .... I caught up so I can start posting some holiday events.

There are a so far a few days in my life that I have wanted to feel special on. My 16th birthday, my wedding, the day my first born came into this world and my 30th Birthday....I know it seems silly but I really was having a harder time then I thought looking into that number. I came to the conclusion I think its because I am a dancer that this number is painful. I had to finally say I am no longer a youngin. Sniff sniff.....after a good deep breath I told my husband that I would like something really special this year so I can feel young again. So this is how my wonderful birthday went ...(from the greatest honey ever).

We were getting ready for the parade this year. Ja had come in early and so we decided that we wanted to hold on to our tradition to ride in the parade. D had went to IF to get a part for is car and drop it off while us girls got some of the final things for the parade stuff. We were just getting back when D called and said hay I just dropped that part off Ill come out to moms and come see you. This made me freakin excited because he NEVER volunteers to come out to my parents. I thought he must really be trying to be sweet to me for my birthday. And was I ever right. He pulled up and I came out with my mom. He said turn around I have something for you......My mother was looking into my eyes and said "Oh honey your going to like this it going to be so fun" I turned around to see this little bum hiding behind D and sure as the stars I knew who it was before she ever popped her cute little face out. My best friend Elise. (picture above) I wept for joy and excitement. I couldn't belive that she was really here. I will never forget that day. It was such a surprise. And it wasn't even my birthday yet .........

After the parade was over which you will see those pictures below. D had my sister and Elise detracted my all day and take me to the fair. We had just gotten in when ja and Danni disappeared. Called my sister and she told me she had to run home to get her meds. So Elise and I walked around having fun laughing and playing with her daughter. Elise tried several times to get me to go home (D was trying to get her to bring me home) and each time I could come up with a logical reason why we didnt need to. Finally D called and said that Mindee had come over and wanted to see me and was waiting at the house. So we went home. Right away they said Mindee wanted to see D's handy work in the basement so we headed downstairs. (I still have not clued in AT ALL by this point). When we get in the hall way I look over in the door way and there are all my friends! SURPRISE!! Yah, it was pretty cool. Plus us girls got to have a night of youth. D made me an Angel food cake, had refreshments, the whole nine yards and took the kids THE WHOLE DAY! And it wasn't even my birthday yet.....

Then he had the family over the next day on Sunday for ice cream. Got some money to get my curling iron and the boots I ve been wanting. I was SUPER spoiled. And it wasn't even my birthday yet.....

Needless to say when Monday finally rolled around and it WAS my birthday I told My Man if he celebrated me turning 30 one more time I was going to vomit...haha. So he got to watch BSU FOOTBALL on my birthday for being so amazing to me. But later that night Amy came and stole me away. We went and I had ice cream. We were going to go to the fair but we decided it was TOO late. I love my honey and all my friends and family for making this birthday one I will NEVER forget.

Us dressed up as kids riding Carousel Horses.

Mj watching the parade with My Man, Elise and her family.

We had a campfire earlier in the week. We wanted to roast some marshmallows and hot dogs while it was still warm here. Here is me and my sisters friend from AZ that has NEVER been to Idaho~

My sister the charmer

We also went to see Delores in Utah. Funny story, we were packed and headed to see D's mom in Boise. When I asked D if he had talked to his mom? He said No, Ill call her when we stop. 30 mins into the trip he did and SHE WAS IN UTAH! Yah, "men" I tell you what they do not know how to plan ahead....

Here we are on the Alpine slide in Park City.

Look at all of us we could so be professionals don't you think?

Watching the high skiers flip into the pool. It was crazy! They get so HIGH in the air before they land in the pool.

Ja came in! We went to MceDs it was Ja's favorite place while growing up. It isn't now but the kids needed food!

We of course had to go to the Fair. We even watch my friend Mee mee play in her band again.

And we went again and this time with my friend Krissy Fur.

Mj petting a cow...wow.

D sporting his new sades....(side note D finally let me talk him into a COWBOY hat ladies!) Ill try to get a picture of him in it to post.

D workin on the basement I talked about earlier. He is such a man...or a dork...I still haven't decided.

One the coolest things we did this summer was go to Lagoon with Mee mee and her family.

It was a blast! We loved every second of it. We even took are camper and it was so nice to have it to sleep in instead of tents.

D having TOO much fun.

Getting some sun!

Look how big he is getting!

Mee mee and I playin guitars while its raining

Our second day in the park. Mj loves to take pictures!

Our first day in the park we did Lagoon Beach and the kids rides.

One day she will drive!....wow.

Sniff...sniff.

Bo screamed when I tried to take him out of the car ....hehe.....he loved that ride. Totally flipped out!

Keagan is such a gentlemen Mee mees boy he totally helped Mj get in this ride. Too cute.

What a fun summer I wish I could do it all again and miss the winter.....boo hoo. I guess I will just have to tough out the cold this year with memories that were this Hott!

Part 9: Lost Summer Memories 2010

2010-10-14T09:18:00.000-07:00

Guys I am getting so close to catching up! I hope to get all my post done before next week! 3 more Lost Memories to go....

This is a trip I did one day to see my childhood buddy/cousin. She called me and told me she was going to be in town and wanted me to come see her at my Grandparents cabin. I loaded up the kids and headed down the whinding path "The W" back to my childhood. I spent a many a summers and hunting seasons in this cabin. Not sure I would be the same me without it.

Pure country!

Welcome to the Ranch....

My grandparents. Resting this rarley happens they are usually busy busy.

My absolute favorite .....fried zucchini!

Best hostess in the world! I am totally bytes but she is my grandma, people~

Having a yummy picnic.

Both my cousin are expecting...this one has already delivered as of two days ago on Saturday.

Punch stains are so cute on little kids!

Sitting by the stocked pond. yes, I said it ....there are ALOT of fish in this pond. My husband just can't ever catch anything in it...haha.

My baby girl. She is getting so big. I love moments like this with her.

Mj's buddy Layla

My cousin and childhood friend

We found the ruins of the tree house her father built for us girls when the boys wouldn't let us in theirs. Her dad built this really big one that surpassed the boys one...haha. It was our little hiding spot we loved it!

Mj took the picture with my cousin and I so she wanted a picture too...it was sad to see the tree house didn't make it through the hard winters, Mj would have loved climbing in it.

The old red wagon....we use to play with this all the time and it was OLD then...haha

Mj decided even though one of the wheels was broke off, she was going to fix it so she could pull Bodi around.

Mj fixin' on her wagon!

I love little trips like this food, family and relaxation. Good for the mind, body and spirit. Love life and live it. I am glad for the place I came from and look foreword to the place I am going. Mwah!

Part 7 & 8: Of (the freakin long) Lost Summer of 2010

2010-10-11T15:18:00.001-07:00

One of my bestee's is in a bluegrass band called "Blue Sage". Her group won the opportunity to open for Patti Loveless! Star struck, I really wanted to go. Her mother called me and invited me to tag along with them that weekend. I was so excited! Plus it was going to be a super surprise for her because she didn't have any idea I was coming. I am so proud of her. She just decided to do this and it has changed her life. She plays the guitar now and performs all the time with her band and has gained a new favorite friend. One the band members, who pretty much set everything up, has become really close to her. I love to see her so happy. Some pictures of our trip! Prepare to be impressed....

Blue Sage

Deep in thought.....or trying to get the butterflies to go away!

The performance! And backstage after.

Me me and her honey ...awah!

Her and I had our baby boys with in days of each other! Isn't he super cute?

~My childhood friend~

Ok so I am......

7 hours in the car! Good thing my bestee's sister was there to keep me company.

Later after that wonderful weekend trip. We had a family reunion and a missionary return for my bestee's bro. I didn't get any pictures of the return but I did get some of the reunion.

My Cousin Becca. Love her to pieces but don't get to see her very often. Here is her newest little one.

My Uncle Mikee...this is my amazing uncle again someone I rarely see but have alot of memories with when I was younger. He is a professional artist over in the New York area. He is a professor and has painting in the art shows all the time. He is always so supportive of my sister and I talents. I love him to pieces wish he lived closer so I could hang out with him more. His blog is on the side with all my favorite things. Check it out!

At the tail end of the reunion we had a trail ride with my other cousin, grandpa and mom. we love to go by the river. It was beautiful ride and doesn't take very long to get to. Here we are playing with our horses!

On a sad note my mothers horse had to be put down the following day....it was heart breaking for my mother. A email from my mother......

I spent most of the night last night at the vets office. 
My posse horse that I trained from a colt couldn't get
her gut ache to go away.  The vet did every thing he could
think of and 4 sedation shots later, we finally had to let
her go.  I trained her from a colt and she was the easiest
riding horse I've ever rode.  She and I lead the drill and
parade this year in state competition and our team one
second in both. Ruby had her intestines all in wrong places
and a twist in them also. There's no explanation for these
things from the vet they just happen. Thought I'd let you
all know, since I need some time to feel better.

Love you
Cris

....Part 9 & 10 coming soon!

Part 6: of Lost Summer Memories of 2010

2010-10-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

Yellow is the color of Hott! Hot is not what it was this summer but it did slowly heated up....here is some stuff we did in the mean time.

I told you I missed a lot this summer. They just keep rolling in. Some of this things I completely forgot I even did. Good thing for my camera its my saving grace in this department.

This summer we went to the park down the street with all of my brothers kids and mine. We had a great time playing on the swings until i was ALL swung out!

Can I just say how freakin adorable this picture is!! My little Bo.

The children you are about to see are my brothers kids. We live kitty corner to them. In two old colonial style homes. My brothers oldest is 6yrs old. Brendon was moving so fast this was the only picture I got of him....haha. (above)

Brady so cute! He Mj's age only a couple months younger is all. They play really well together.

This little dolls name is Joslyn she is sooo a princess but totally can rough it with the boys....well she IS surrounded by brothers.

The is baby of the family (for now anyways....one more on the way) Jerom. after the baby is born this Decemeber that will make 5... feehw...sounds like a posse to me!

We had a little yard sale! It was a little weird for me to have a yard sale without a cause. I have always done Jamie's CF yard sales or fundraisers for her. It was weird to have one just for our little family....I even felt bad for some reason keeping the money....it was my stuff I sold right....haha. Here is Bo and I just before we went to get lunch!

Another this that happened that I missed a post on was my cousin getting married. I got some really great pictures of my moms side of the family. I grew up with these guys we have a really close extended family.

Here is the ladie of the hour.....Katie
I felt old because I use to babysit her!

She is standing next to her oldest sister Leah. We were the bestest of friends growing up. We still are close are friendship just picks up right were it left every time we hangout together.

Childhood buddies!....we hated to love each other. Love hate relationship for sure! We would get into the biggest fights until our moms would want us to be separated and then we would cry "NO!, but I love her SOOO much!" Yah we pretty much drove everyone crazy....

My grandma. This women is one of the most amazing people I have met in my life. She is the host with mostest and the best cook around. This is a women that NEVER forgets anyone's birthdays even though she has so many great grand kids and grand kids to count. They always are giving to someone. I hope to be just like her!

Awha totally cute!

Grandmas and grandbabies!
Nana

Nana always come to visit us as much as she can. Mj loves it when she comes.

Grandma

We are at the park on Sunday with my family.

Look at the face....I love it!

Lazing as usual

Grandpa pushing Mj on the swing! What a trooper.....

Reflection is always a good idea I felt like this picture captured this. I try to do this often as a mother, wife and daughter of God. I love Sundays for that being able to think about your week and how to be a better YOU.

Still More to come ......Part 7-12! I am going to have to speed this up a bit I may be posting more then once every week so stay tuned.

Part 4 and 5: Lost Summer Memories of 2010

2010-09-28T08:06:00.001-07:00

July 2010

This is a long post mostly because we had a bunch of fun in the month of July. My honey and I had matching shirts for the 4th, it was silly but I like that we are silly together sometimes.
In July we had the 4th of course ...here we are at our house enjoying some of My Mans small purchases for the holiday.

My Man and Mj went over to SLC to see family while they where down to see his youngest sister who lives there. Mj went on a "Daddy Daughter" trip. Bo and I stayed home. I remember those times with my dad and I want her to have the same wonderful relationship I have with my daddy!
We had a wonderful surprise my sis and her husband can up for the weekend, of course my sister wanted to stay. So she sent her honey off back home and she stayed for three more weeks.
We of course went riding...

During this time we had a family reunion in Bear Lake, Idaho. It has been a while since I had been there but I remember the water being super blue. Wasn't disappointed by that memory just remember the beach not being so full of people but that wasn't that surprising its a beautiful place to be.....

We were all kissin on the baby.....

My Sis...for some reason we have very few pictures of us together so we try to remember to get a picture together and not just goof all the whole time!

My Man...Why I am I glaring..haha

Why is his hand up like..."Would you stop kissing me!"

Ok so the next pictures are all of us totally goofing off pretending to be beach models and pretty much anything we could think of....

Darrens signature pose...

Karate kid anyone?

Yes...I am Censured....haha...Can I just say in todays fashions it is extremly hard to find a good fitting top that does plimit down to your navel or make you look like you have a uni boob. Grrr

My sis looks so good after her transplant...I just had to post these she looks super amazing! Below is her Bestee Danni from high school. She was her camping buddy and by the way is an amazing babysitter! Love her!

Laughing as usual

D went for a Canoe Ride

Signture beach pose

Mj why are you sad.....No one knows she is just my little drama queen!

Then 30 sec later.....

"You make that look good!"

Dramatic mother....the Dyeing Swan

This was my absolute favtorite picture took that whole day. Mostly because Danni nailed the timing and the we look like we are in some ad for clothes...well mostly that my husband is doing this fabulous jump that now I have forever.

Later this week after we got back I went to the Grove with my girlee Kristy and her kiddos.

Only snapped a few shots but it was a fun day in the sun!

Below Kristy is reading an artical about how to fine Mr. Right.....

It must have worked because after this week she ended up finding a really great guy! Who knew....

Keep posted for the next MISSING ADVENTURE...

Part 3: Lost Memories of Summer 2010

2010-09-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

We always try to go to Lucky Peak when we go to Boise in the summer to play Sand Volleyball with My Mans Boys....his high school buddies. Here is some photos of our fun day in the sun!

This is the gas station was always stop at and get supplies and sometimes fake tattoos but they didn't have any this year!

I love this guys they are so fun to hang out with! My guts hurt from laughing all day while we played. Anyone that knows me would laugh at me playing a sport because I had NO interest in this sort of thing in high school. But I love it now I think mostly because I think these guys make it so fun!

My Man and his Bestees!

Us girlies!

My Man has been working on his fitness he is really looking amazing probably the fittest I have ever seen him very toned and almost has his 6 pack he wants!

We spend some time with Nana I didn't have one of us there in Boise but this was a picture from the weekend before that I didn't blog about either. Nana has come to see her grand babies a few times this summer we love it when she comes ....Mj always says as she pulling away. "But I love her so much mommy....I love her so much!" I have to hold back the tears.

Here is us having a family shindig at My Mans oldest sisters house! He love going there! There is so much room for the kids to play and she is super sweet and they always have so much food.....we miss you guys!!

My little one stuffing marshmallows in his mouth this was hilarious to watch!

Another Lost Summer 2010 Adventure.....

2010-09-23T13:01:00.000-07:00

http://www.celticwoman.com/alex-message

We had a chance to go see Celtic Women in concert in Boise. I have loved this group since I first listen to them in 2006! I have Irish and Scottish blood that is on both sides of my parents family so this type of music always seems to make my heart sing. One of the high lights was that we got to meet Alex Sharpe! She was a member at the time and has just resonantly resigned to be with her family more in Ireland. She such a sweetheart to all of us even though she didn't know us from Adam. We only got to meet her because my step brother in law dated her after his mission in Ireland and she always invites him to come .....or he asks to be invited...haha.

Brant and Dorothy came along and got us the super great tickets 4 month in advance so we could be really close. My Man loved this concert! I hope that doesn't de-masculate him in your eyes. He just really love beautiful music which is why I love him so much.

She was really sweet and very warm with everyone. It was neat to see her in concert but really cool to see she was just human too.

Mom and Ormand

Us in the the parking lot before the Concert at the Morrison Centre in Boise!
There alot of songs to choose from. The one you are hearing is one of my favorites for their new CD. To hear Alex sing stroll a bit down to the next post....they didn't have her song in my internet music playlisting website.

That same weekend all my college roommates got together to have lunch! There we are The House of Nine! -2 because well, lets just say there was always one or two that came and went that we all said..."dont let the door hitt your *&& on the way out!" haha

All of us are now mommy's!
Man has it been that long.....weird!

Celtic Woman (Alex Sharpe) - You'll Be In My Heart (BEST AUDIO)

2010-09-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

Oops I missed some summer adventures!

2010-08-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

Ok so I have really confirmed now that I am HORRIBLE at blogging. But I will someday be as wonderful again because my sister still is I have someone to look up to wait .....I mean down to ....haha. (she is shorter then me)
So anyways I missed like a few, well more like a handful...ok its like a dozen activities are family did this summer. I will post one everyday this week so I can catch up. So one day I can print my blog book!!!

We stayed in a cabin with some of our buddies from My Mans work. It was such a blast and very relaxing.

Here is our super cool friends with their families super cool boat!!

My man took me for a boat ride! Ok maybe I should row the boat Dork!

More missed memories of summer 2010 to come!.......

We Love The Sun....So We Went To It!

2010-06-29T15:30:00.000-07:00

My big boy turn one in May! I am so behind sorry guys.

He got this cute boots from my mom and the cool ride from his Nana.

The after math.....

With his Daddy...totally cute.

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Off to AZ for our family vacation for the summer!

"Don't get TOO close baby."

Just love these old guys....just amazing to think how long they have been around.

My little sweetheart!

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Hangin out with Jamiebug and Bry!

Lots of pool time and not as many Time Outs ...yippy! (ok so there is one timeout below)

"We are some fine American women!" SNL

Gettin in some sun! Not hard to do there 105 degree days

That is his new look super funny in real life

I love my big sis!

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My little rock star....I know you are sittin there thinkin she is going to be something someday!!

Thats is how it is done.....

Mj pretty much followed Bella everywhere!

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Bo Barfed (projectile vomited, I should say) and My Man made me wait while he took a picture. Lets try this again and you have him in YOUR lap this time.

My Mans first time at In-&-Out

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On to Vegas my friend....

My Bestee from High School!
We went to the Shark Reef. These is my favorite species I think they are super cool!

Mj pretty much hung on everything there

My Bestees little girl and Mj. They are going to break hearts guys!

How Disappointing....

2010-05-07T23:18:00.001-07:00

So I am not really one to blog about unhappy things too often but tonight I really need to express something in words so can let it go.
I am a Ballet Teacher and I teach in all kinds of situations like I ran a studio for 4 yrs, Adult Classes where I live, technique classes for competition Jazz teams and floating sub work for a professional ballet school in Idaho Falls. With this being said I would like to re tell the following story to get it off my chest so I can forgive myself.
I am performing in the "Little Match Girl" for the Idaho Falls School of Ballet, and in my opinion, one of the finest Classical Ballet Schools in our area. I have been apart of this school either by taking classes are helping whenever I may be needed for two years now. I love Debra she is an amazing Ballet Mistress and I love to help her. She asked me to perform with the adult ladies in the year end show so she could be more dynamic with the choreography for that piece and I told her I would be there if she needed me. Though this past spring I have had a toe injury and had often wished that maybe I wouldn't have been so willing....lol. Non of this really has to do with what happened today but I thought I would give you some back ground on my situation in MY mind so you could feel as crazy as I do about today's happenings...
I have been to every class but a few since the choreography was set and every rehearsal ....but today I bombed. Have you ever done something that you can not BELIEVE that you did knowing the things that YOU know? Well that is what I did when I got ready, placed my pink shoes in my bag with my costume and was walking out the door at 4pm for a rehearsal in Idaho Falls. Realizing that I had not taken the schedule with me to look at while attending the rehearsal I walked in to get it from where I had LOOKED at it earlier that morning. And there it was the rehearsal time starring me in the face.....Ballet Scene 1 4:oo-5:oopm! WHAT! I hadn't even left the house yet. My heart stopped....how could this be how am I going to explain this to Debra...how could I have done this! Something, I ,myself would get mad at MY own students for doing? My heart sank as I tried to call, text anything to help figure out how to fix this....there was no way to. The rehearsal was only an hour and I lived 40mins from where it was being held. And wouldn't need to be back for rehearsal until 8:30pm later that night. I would end up drive 40mins for a 15min rehearsal. In debra's stress, she sent an awful text back, "this is a big problem for me!" I just sat and cried. How disappointed I was in myself, how unprofessional of me, how would I EVER going to make this up to her. I humbled, got ready and with a rock in my stomach went to the last rehearsal only to have one of her fellow teachers coldly say, when I asked where to put my stuff.."She done with whatever your in..." I knew that wasn't true but it was the sad truth that there was a hole for all to see during the rehearsal because I did the oldest trick in the book...."You can have all the talent in the world, but if your not there, your replaced!" Luckily, it didn't come to that tonight but it has been hard to swallow being a professional and all. It going to take some time to earn my trust back again with her. Wish me luck tomorrow we have a rehearsal at 10am-2pm.....performance later that night.

....and yes I checked the paper twice tonight!

A Talk with my Father

2010-05-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

This post is about a spiritual experience I had this past Friday. Lately, where I live there had some beautiful days and then some bad days where it rains and the wind blows. But this past Friday it was one of those day where it couldn't make up it mind what it was going to do. So I decided to finish pruning one of the trees I was working on in my front yard. I always tend to listen to my IPod as I am working. I just think it helps the work go by faster and I was listening to it this day as I worked. I was finishing up raking up the mess from one of the trees. I began to ponder how I was doing in my life spiritually....prayer is always a topic of conversation between me and the lord. I have always had a hard time praying nightly and on rare occasions will remember to pray in the morning before I start my day. I was talking with my Father in Heaven about this wondering why I feel so empty lately. I knew it had to be from my most resent trial I went through. I felt weakened by all the pain it caused me. A kind of dark cloud or fog was around my thoughts when I reflected back to that hard time. Somewhere in this conversion with him I got an impression, a metaphor I had heard sometime back, "the lord didn't move, you did. That's why you can't feel his light anymore." I thought back in my life "Why is it so hard?" I was referring to life, the trial I went through and this simple metaphor. "Why is IT so hard?" with this, I stopped and I looked up. I saw beautiful clouds in the sky. The sun was hiding behind them just waiting for them you move so it could share it warmth. My thoughts were on the trees in my yard and the neighbors. They were so tall that if you looked up it was almost like you weren't in town but out in the country, which is wonderful to me being little farm girl at heart. My IPod stopped. I looked down to notice it powering down. I knew it was charged and it never just stops. So I waited for it to turn back on and quickly went back to "shuffle mode". My IPod is almost predicable on the songs it picks to put in this mode. But this time it came to a church song called "Who you are" by Hailary Weeks as the very first song. In my panic to HAVE to listen to a church song began pushing the over button like 4 times....a soft whisper came to me and said "Stop. Listen" In that moment I said back..."What do you want to say?" and began listening to the song. I could not believe that this song was everything I think Heavenly Father had been trying to say to me but I never "Stopped. Listened" without falling asleep or running to the next thing everyday. It spoke right to my soul and I found myself crying while I looked up at the sky leaning on my rake with both hands. I was in aha at how it was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. I tried to calm down by began to rake again but each line of the song made my heart swell. I thought "Man, I hope no one pulls up right now....how am I going to explain this." As the song was finishing, I stopped and looked up again, just as the last line of the song was being sung "Don't lose sight in the truth your daughter of God, he believes in who your becoming, He believes in who you are." the clouds moved and the sun shown down on me I could feel its warmth and knew what the lord was saying to me..."I never moved you did. I wait for you every night and every morning" In the moments after I found myself thinking that I must be hormonal right now or some other reason for this to have occurred but I couldn't deny the perfectness of it, I know this world in not perfect. This had be more. I realized and even wondered, how many times this type thing has happened in the past and I have wrote it off as nothing. My hope is to never to this because I had a special moment with my Father in Heaven and I know it was real.....

As a side note: Later my I said to my friend when relying this story to her through my tears..."Man, Heavenly Father must be really hip if he can speak to me through my IPod too!"

My Bestee...Super JamieBug!

2010-04-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

This is a long one.....

Some of you may already know that my sister was in town for a week of so, which leads me to tell you the following. I do feel I need to explain were this has come, I was never really able to say to much about Jamie and I’s story because to be honest I didn't have words sometime....which is weird for me, I talk ALL the time. It seemed every time I would try I would just cry and say something easy. Which is so not the truth. But I feel after 2 years I can, for some reason its just easier to find the words and thoughts and have them come together. So bear with me this is my first attempt.

As small children we tend to look at each other as the same. There is no differences’, in our little minds, that make us different like money, clothes, family situations, disorders and illness. We just know you are fun to play with so lets play. Jamie and I were close from the start because we leaved out in the country and she was my closest friend. We shared everything our room, clothes, shoes and hair stuff because we were poor. I know now that one of the main reasons I was put into this family was so I could be with Jamie. I have not always felt this as I began growing up with her. It was hard as a child to try to understand why she got to have curtain things or get more attention from others then myself. I would often cry sometimes alone when she wouldn't want me around or would get special things from people. As I got older she was hospitalized more and her sickness was daily so I began to see why she was so special to everyone. I tried to swallow my selfishness and learn to have charity. To which I am still working on trying to do Because of this though I learned to love her so much that it was unbreakable as we got older. I looked up to her so much growing up and have always loved her light laughter in a room and sense of humor. She was someone I could talk into doing almost anything with me and visa versa. People would ask as all the time if we were best friends and it would blow there minds when we would say that we were sisters. This didn’t come with our a few heated conversations about hurt feelings but the friendship was stronger because of those times. Sometimes to the point that our husbands would ban us from each other so they could have some sanity around the house....like the house staying some what clean and them having dinner at least once a week. i do feel I should warn you before you read any farther this is not a happy story.....An so it began.....As I slowly watched as my closest friend began to struggle to do the simple things that we would do everyday it started out just being winded all the time. Then she would get head aches that wouldn't go away soon walking around while shopping, lifting things, talking in long phrases became difficult for her. You could tell she was trying to pretend for us all. To make us not get scared or think the worst. We all watched helpless as she was dyeing right before our eyes and we told ourselves that she would get better like she always seemed to do. As you guessed, she didn't, only worse. I would spend a few days a week in the hospital with her when she would be there for 3 weeks and the time away from the hospital became shorter and shorter. Doctors started trying to tell the family that she was getting to the end....we did want to hear that. She still looked happy, look at her smile, she still tells jokes and NEVER just lies in bed like "I am dyeing look at me help me" so some how we could tell ourselves that it wasn't real. It became very real for me one night as I was scratching her back...she loves that. That there was something horribly wrong. She would take a deep breath and her lungs would contract, vibrate when they would inhale and exhale....I sat in the dark and cried. I was shocked, like an alarm going off at 3am in the morning, she was suffering beyond anyone of us could even imagine. I then remember her words to me a few weeks before that..."Nikkii I want you try to understand its HARD for me to be here....and if Heavenly Father wants me to be healed I will be and if not I can rest." I realized "here" was Earth and that "rest" was how much she was burdened with everyday here on earth and then releasing that and dyeing. I reflected on the images I had in my memories of her. It was mostly laughing and her hilarious expressions and quickly started into the images of her suffering through the years. I wanted to help her find that spark back the one we played all those years with. She was becoming dull from years of handling the pressures of her illness. She is such an example…. right up to the end she smiled and endured. And with the council from my parents, in the moments that I found out Jamie was dyeing at the Pittsburgh hospital, I pleaded to my Father in Heaven through the Savior for all the things that I may have done in my life, for her to have the strength to live and for the strength for me to endure if she didn't. I tried to think of a life with out her brightness and laugh. I didn’t focus on that and became to understand what my father and mother had said to me on the phone, " Heavenly Father loves her more then you or I could EVER imagine. If she is going to live it will be because he wanted her to." As most of you know she did receive a miracle, she beat her odds, she had the strength to fight and she became a small part of herself again, at a price…her donor, who I think some people forget when they think of a transplant. Jamie NEVER does. I try to never forget. Every time my sister takes a deep breath and laughs, runs a 10 minute mile or rides her horse I am amazed she is here. This past week when she was here she reminded me that there is hardly anyone that post transplant live past 10 years. I fog of fear filled my heart, a fog of insecurity and uncertainty. I looked at Jamie and thought she has never been a certainty or the "normal". She is her logo…Super Jamie and what a great strength to be around. Someone gave her wings to be this hero. I got a call today that she had to go back to Arizona a few day earlier then expected. I have cried inside all morning a bit because my "Bestee" went home. I love her so much a think back on those wonderful times we have had and know that I would not be who I am with out her. I myself am saying to her Donor thank you.....thank you for another day with my bestee. It does not go unnoticed.....

Become an organ donor today. Save up to 8 lives.....and in the words of Jamie "be some ones hero!"

My signature is soon coming.....can't wait, thanks Ja for all the great memories so far!

Some Nature Inside!

2010-04-11T18:43:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to do this for awhile, I wanted to vinyl it before I paint it on so here is the vinyl draft. I cant wait until My man does his wonderful thick texture in the kitchen so I can paint a bigger one on the wall. It may seem weird to some of you but I think it is memorizing...and it really does speak so many things to me.

I have more idea coming soon....

March Madness....wait its April now!

2010-04-05T14:27:00.000-07:00

OK so there is a lot of Pictures in this post because I am a little behind. Hopefully the Pictures tell the story well enough that I don't have to get into a long detail narration for each....enjoy.

My Grandmas 71st Birthday Bash
Love this ladie!

My SLC Trip with my Girlies....don't mind the creepy hotel in the back that's just where we stayed!

We watched Alice in Wonderland in 3D. Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite fairy tales I watched the Disney one until everyone in my family was pretty much sick to death of it.

Doin' our business

Catching some sun!

We went to IN - OUT I love that place and had not been to one since we went to one Cali when I was 14 years old. I had to go.

The End.....or until next time!

Just had to post this she is sooo silly, I love it!

My Man and I have been fixing the basement up in our house. So here we are going out in the snow and rain again to pick up base boards, flooring, painting and what ever else come our way.

Daddy Daughter Date! Finally!....My Man took Mj out to see "How to train your dragon" for their date. This is a tradition in my family with my father and is one of the things that I have a great testimony on. I believe this helped me have a close relationship with my father. So I wanted My Man to do the same for our little ones too. This is the very first one.

Easter Egg Hunt at Great Grandmas House.....while she was out...lol, which was a little weird for me but anyways the kids had fun. And got lots of candy and also got to see there 2nd cousin Cy. I think Mj ate all her candy by time she got home! Empty basket before....and after!

Easter Morning. I forgot to color eggs and did not remember this until 2:30am in the morning on Easter. I almost started dyeing eggs at 3am in the morning until My Man reminded me that would be "Crazy".

How she used her new Easter candy....I did the same with my sister. Used the candy as lipstick instead of eating it....lol.

Swimming and Easter Dresses!

2010-03-08T22:46:00.000-08:00

We have been telling Mj for the past Four weeks that we would take her swimming. It seems like every time we plan to go something would come up or she would lose it by the end of the week from having a bad day. Well so My Man and I decided that Mj would NEVER be able to go swimming if we based on her having a so called good day...lol. She is my little monster. We began to feel horriable that we had promised this to her since January and still had not taken her so we pinkie swore to her that we would take her .....I was so tempted that day to TAKE swimming away from her after she was pretty much a raving monster for three days straight ....but no I just took a deep breath and got her ready. She had a blast and so did My man and I watching MJ giggle and laugh. Bo even got to go SWIMMING. He had fun until his lips were blue from the being in and out of the water.

I always buy a Easter Dress every year for Easter its a Tradition that my mother did for all of us kids as we grew up. I still got a church dress up until I got married...lol. I think it a good way for you to remember what Easter is all about, the gospel and going to church to remember all that the Savior has done for us. Here are the first set of pictures after the first time wearing the Easter outfits to church....notice the way they start and how they slowly become very ...whats the word....frustrated ...at the end....lol.

Finally....I just needed one....lol!

My Funny Valentines

2010-02-28T17:13:00.000-08:00

Baby Hands....Too cute!

Mj with her daddy doing the Friday night sleepovers in any place in the house.....I was a one point really afraid that I might be sleeping in the Kitchen .....not funny....she finally decided to sleep in the theatre room!

Love is all around us!

2010-02-23T15:27:00.001-08:00

Boise State Won....now what?

2010-01-12T23:39:00.000-08:00

So many of you may know that My Man is an avid BSU fan.....I mean he wears and watches everything that is Boise State Football related. Sometimes even starving his family of attention during the season. It is because of this I am compelled to post something about them going to a Bowl game this year .....And yes they won! We can all sleep easier knowing that but mostly My Man is as happy as a school boy. Cheeks rosy and everything.
Here is the post I wanted to share....Now this is one of the best parts for me about the game and I have to say is one of the funniest things I have seen in a while.....plus it catches My Mans wonderful contagous laugh. I think we watched it at least 10 times by the time the game ended.

Why do you love me so much?

2009-12-30T17:42:00.000-08:00

This is Christmas Eve at the traditional Christensen Christmas Party. Mj was sooooo cute this year with the whole Santa thing. She sat up on his lap and looked into his eyes....her eyes wide and glistening (no joke) ...she spoke softly..."why do you love me so much? Just after that she hugged him. I had to check to see if I was tearing up because my heart swelled three times in size.

I wish that I would have gotten her saying that magical phrase...."Why do you love me so much?" But here is just after that ....look how she just stared at him.....she is nothing like I was ....I think I screamed everytime my mother sat me on his lap up until I was at least 5 or 6.

Christmas Morning at the Riley's House.

Notice that Darren and I are not in any of the Pictures....first off Christmas Morning with Children in the house is all about them and their pure excitment. Parents on the other hand are extremly tired from staying up late and are not looking their best....lol. I looked like someone hit me with a sleigh. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!

Christmas Parties in Boise

2009-12-23T08:38:00.000-08:00

Mj is really getting the whole Santa thing this year. So we have lots of Santa talks. It is really fun to see the the magic of Santa in her eyes. It an amazing thing to teach your children to believe in something that they can not touch or sometimes even fathom how it is even possible. I believe it is the first time they can truly feel the Saviors love.....to think that there is someone who loves everyone in the world so much that he knows YOU.... and he loves you so much he takes all year to give you gifts he got just for you. It something that they can see and understand. I think if this magic is truly instilled in a child they can have a stronger faith in the true meaning of Christmas because they have already felt what it is all about ....love and the Savior.

Our Christmas Tree....

Our Pictures from the Boise Trip Dec 12th

My Beautiful ....funny girl...

Going to Edwards Greenhouse with Jessica and Corey

Reading with Grandpa Ormand

My Beautiful Babies

sleeping

I will post more Christmas pictures soon.....believe me there are more .....there are always more. Just thinking about all the parties and stuff makes me glad we are now looking into the new year now. Time to set new goals.

If you have never seen a miracle....

2009-12-09T06:20:00.000-08:00

This is a long post sorry...I am not usually one to do this but I think I have a good reason. My sister Jamie's 2 year post transplant anniversary is here upon us and I just wanted the blog world to know her and her beautiful fighting story. Any of you that have come close to losing someone you love or have lost someone you love.....this will ring true to you. If you have not I pray that you never have to have this happen to you....but non the less it will that is the miracle of life. There are heavenly miracles out there and if you do not know Jamie's story you should visit her blog it is a true biblical miracle from heaven and around the Christmas holiday for us to remember these things really do happen......

For me I am just glad that I got to spend more time with my big sister and best friend. I will always remember your story Jamie I love you more then you know. Here are the posts that I did around her transplant ....

Dec 5th 2007....waiting for a miracle

Sorry if Its been a while since I posted. I have been a little over whelmed the past three weeks of my crazy life. I've just started directing the Theatre Department now that Jamie is now unable to teach. I hope that I can do as good as a job as she does with these kids. She truly loves this Art and I know she trusts me more then anyone to take it over but I just really want to see it stay here for her return.
I can't explain to you how one feels when they are just thrown into a whirl wind with their best friend/sister as she looks into the unknown. I sometimes wondered how and where to start. Then these angels that come from a small Idaho community, open there arms and said,"this is how" We have had such a positive feed back from this area on the "Hope For Lungs" Fundraisers. We just had our first one Dec 1st, there was so many people that came for the Spaghetti Feed this past week, there was a line out the door from people in our community that had heard that she needed help and came. I felt so full of joy that people had remembered her. Now I am working on a big music, theatre and dance Benefits Concert at the BPAC for my sister's cause in February. The response for this has been very heart warming and I know that the programs will really help them reach their goal to get all she might need for the next year. It so much work but I just take one day at a time. I can't think about how everything is going to come together or I will just freak out. I know the Lord is holding me though when it gets too hard. I'll kept you posted.......

Dec 7th 2007

This is my closest friend. She is also my sister! We love to spend time together but lately I've been going crazy because she is clear across the nation. As most of you might already know she is in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania getting her new lungs. She just had her last surgery last night and is working really hard to get off the ventilator today. I wish I was there to be with her during this hard time but I know that my mother and father are there to help her through this.. Her husband is so amazing to me. I have prayed for him the most knowing that he might feel so over whelmed. I know she is a fighter she always push through when she really wants something. She has so much ambition and drive to get things done. I will be able to go and see her the week of Christmas so I am really excited to see her breath without the CF in her lungs anymore. I wanted to post the above video because it has her laughing in it. I love hearing her laugh.....she can make a whole room stop and listen to her when she speaks. This has always amazed me. She is my hero. My whole life I always wanted to be with her where ever she went. I tried to hug her all the time until she would hit me and tell me to knock it off. (I'm a little clingy) I can't believe this is happening still...she once told me that she knew Heavenly Father loves her because he gives her things that make her happy...the Tuesday I called her after she did her second day of testing she told me, "Maybe I'll get lungs for Christmas!" I here we are all amazed that she got lungs a week before this wonderful Holiday. I can't help but know that we have all been so blessed to be apart of this miracle not only for her but to still have her here with us. It is truly a gift, a blessing and a miracle sent from heaven to us all for Christmas this year. In the words of my sister "To ta lee"

Visiting my sis in her long fight at the Pittsburgh Hospital .....January 2008

Most of you might already know but January 7th I went to see my sister in Pittsburgh. She was a little skinny when I first saw her and thought how the pictures really didn't show this on her blog before I came. But it didn't take her but a few days and she was laughing and talking with me and asking for her arm to get scratched! Later in the week she wanted to start scrap booking again so we went and got a few things to get her started. Her book is really coming along here are a few picture and sweet moments from when I was there! I miss you Ja.....

My Bestest Friend!

Nothing is like a Mothers Love!

Our favorite nurse "Nurse Dan" He is so wonderful to do the little things for my sis that make a long hospital stay not so horrible. He even rubs her shoulder when they ache from the hard bed!

Here is a video of her walking her 1/2 Mile every morning and night while I was there. She was one of the only patients that wasn't walking with a walker. That didn't really surprise me much, she knows how to push through almost anything now!

Her Ol' stand by, her closest friend, her companion....her faithful husband

SHES BACK!

If you can't tell just by looking at her that she feels a whole heck of a lot better then I am here to tell you that she looks and feels like a new Jamie! She is having so much fun with her new lungs. She is even going to be directing a huge Spring play this year for the end of our season in June. Her Segway is collecting dust that is how great she feels. If you want to read more about her click on the JamieBug link in A few of my Favorite Things... So glad to have my best girlie Friend home. Missed her a ton.

Jamie's Video.....

Cystic Fibrosis Lung Transplant

2009-12-09T06:13:00.003-08:00

Transplant follow up

2009-12-09T06:13:00.001-08:00

7 years, 5 days and counting.

2009-12-02T14:16:00.000-08:00

My Man I and I were sealed for time and all eternity November 30th 2002. Seven years, Five days and counting....lol. We have had a wonderful roller coaster ride that has had some really high highs....like having children. We have also had some really low lows....like learning how to compromise through our problems. I feel like we have learned so much since we first said the words " I love you". I have to say I have learn a lot about myself in learning to love without conditions...something I still struggle with. I can not tell you how many times I have been hurt by love. I feel that I love very deeply, I forgive too easily and know nothing about either of the two. I wish that I could see us as we are older when we are sitting around hoping to not miss the next weather forecast. I would love to see how we treat each other then. I feel as you grow together you learn to be productive in your marriage and not so impulsive.

Here are somethings that I love about my husband......
He is undoubtedly one of the best kitchen cleaners, dish do-er and laundry helper you could ever have. He not only cleans but he cooks. He is a wonderful cook. I love his steaks and breakfast meals. I just learned he can pretty much make almost anything I can in the kitchen....yes it was a hard fact to swallow. He is an amazing father. He plays with Mj and Bodi everyday. I really do mean everyday. Mj face lights up when he comes home and she loves to just be with him. I often find myself looking for them only to find that they are running after each other in the house and teasing each other. He takes care of his family with always having a job. He was taking care of us before we ever came into his life when he went to school and paid for it as he went. He saved money while in one of hardest times of his life.....college. He has never not had a job in all the years we have been married even when he was finishing school and he was putting in longer hours at school, he still had a full time job. He is always looking for ways to get out of debt helping free his family from its bonds that ware on love. He will hold back on his wants to pay something off by having the will power to not always get what he wants. He sacrificed to go serve the lord for 24 months of his life in a foreign country. He has taught me by example how to keep the lord in your prayers every night. He has read the Book of Mormon all the way through 5 times .....now the reason I feel this is truly amazing is because I have NEVER read The Book of Mormon all the way through once. He serves his callings and always helps out when the need is placed before him.....like he never lets my mother or anyone for that fact clean up dinner alone after we eat, he will go out in the cold to help collect cans for a calling he doesn't have just because he was asked and if someone is moving into the area he always makes time to go and help the priesthood move them in. He is an amazing friend to me. He makes me laugh everyday. He has a contagious laugh that spreads through out a crowd. He bring a joy to me that only he can. He has a beautiful smile that I can't get enough of. He spoils me rotten. He knows when to say sorry and when to say I love you....this important because remember I am spoiled so, I am not the definition of sweet all the time.....it melts me like nothing else. He is my best friend, my lover and a true companion.
Everyday I wonder why he picked me. I love him deeply and forgive him with ease......

To my biggest fan.

2009-11-18T13:50:00.001-08:00

I have to tell you that my biggest blogger fan is my sister Jamie. She really gets involved if I do not post at LEAST once a month. I know it doesn't seem that hard to do but we have a internet set up that hardly ever works....frustrating. Anyways I am make a promise to at least try to post once a month. If you get more that would just be crazy huh.....

Here is the month of October .....

The wonderful Days of Fall

Mj dressed up as a good witch for her
Pre School she looked so cute.

Yes this is my friend spraying her wedding dress PINK! She was really over her first marriage...lol. No really it was for her costume this Halloween In fast we made all the costumes for our fun theme this year.

Her is is making the scarecrow and hanging out with a friend.

Mj's Birthday Party~

Mj had all her friends over for a masquerade party and they watch Garfield Halloween...if you know me you know you can not go a Halloween without this hilarious film.

Here is Alice and her Painting the roses red cards....Brants kids and Mj.

Mj even had a witch come to her party and tell them all a scary tale and hand out goodies from her pumpkin bag......

....it was my sister Ja. She was in from Arizona for the week. She did a great job...side note * she did such a great job that one of the kids was still talking about a week later....lol.

Here they are making there spider cookies....

My parents Halloween Party later that night......yah long day...lol.

The Great Oz, Dorothy and Toto

The Mad Hatter and The Queen of Hearts

Sleeping teenager, Jocky and a Twilight Vampire

Bonnie and Clyde

Headshrinker and "Yummy" Pretty creepy...there was more but I didn't get, my dad. he was a Zombie Biker and he was really freaky looking.

Halloween Night!

Bo 6 months old

Dear Blogger Universe....

2009-10-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

Ok so I think all of you think that I am the most horriable blogger of all time right now. But any of you that REALLY know me know that I have been so busy it was not the top on my list. Sorry blogger universe it not you ....its me.

Here some pictures of what has bee happening the pass two months!

My babies are getting so big! They had fun playing in the sun this summer too.

Mj's first day of Pre School she was so excited and wanted to wear a hat just like daddies. We even put skulls on it so she would feel more at home....lol.

Kristy and I are walking everyday so we can get to our goal. We started mid August.

The 10 year reunion for class of 1999!

Mj's is really tired of 123 magic but it works....lol

EISF ....enough said just look at the pictures you'll get the hint on even why we go...lol

just love this 4month picture of bodi...cant believe its already been 4 months!

Krissy just loves this pictures of me so I thought I would post it somewhere! So look the other way if it freaks you out like it does me...lol!

Trip to SLC to jessica and wade our wonderful hosts and great hotel...lol! We love you guys! We had a great time.

Me and I my brown sugar!

Fun in Idaho Falls with my girlies! We totally played at the mall like teenagers.....with kids so not really like teenagers at all but it was still fun!

I have had an excusting week! I really look like it in this picture....lol. Life is not learning to get out of the rain ...its learning to dance in the rain! Just love that because I do love to dance and I do love the rain jsut need to put the to together more.

So Far Far way,,,,,,,I mean behind!

2009-07-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

Baby Buddies! Some really cute pictures of my new bundle of joy and his buddy that is my best friends boy that was born days after him!

We sold our home or at least excepted an offer on it!

2009 Barney Dixion reunion!

Cute little campers! The Peery side did the reunion this year. So I helped out it was at Heise. A local water park and camping ground. The theme was "spy's" but it ended up being "under the sea"

The best babysitter EVER!

Later....that night we were talking around the campfire with the few night owls that happened to still be up and my honey and I noticed that the water around our trailer was really high. We moved a tent around few times but then we all deiced we better get the camp up to move....lol! One of the most eventful reunions EVER!

Our Annual Girls Night~

We painted nails and laughed it up until 4am!

Family in from BOISE!

An afternoon of horse back riding FUN!

Our local Fireworks.....specatular....lol....sure.

We had our own too!

Bodi's Blessing Day ....His is in a beautiful outfit Nana bought him....Preemie....lol!

He wasn't too happy.... but he didn't cry at all durning the blessing.

Lots of good eats!! Thanks to all the hands that helped!

Playing at Jensen Grove for Family Home Evening

Lava Hot Springs Pool!~ With Mindee!

Mindee lou has been in town for a few weeks and I have been loving it! She would kill me if she knew I posted ANY pictures of her after having Jackson. Sorry about the swim suit shot it all I have that fits me....as you can see it barely does that....lol!

My Man and his beard....lol!

My bestest friend came in from Arizona ....yippy we had so much while she was up!

Playng a the waterpark! Summer is so much fun....'

Just chillin'

Notice there are No pictures of me .....yah I get in a swimming suit I just don't want to Frame the picture.....lol!

Jamie's kid Bella.....Mj Loves her~

Saying goodbye at a local park, to my besfriend Jamie as she heads back to Arizona!

So My Man called me on thurday July 23rd at around 1pm and told me he wanted to go to Boise so if I could be ready to go by the time he gets home that would be great.....lol! MEN. So here is what everyone else got to do while I got everything in order to go.

Our trup to Boise...Swimming and Parties!

Some cute family pictures!

Layla loved playing with all the kids in the backyard at Nana's. She is so sweet to let us bring her with us so we don't have leave her behind. We love her so much.....well not speaking for My Man....lol!

Our never ending month.....

2009-06-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

GIDDIE UP!

OUR TRIP TO BOISE

I went to Boise to be apart of the 3rd Annual Choreography workshop that a close friend and mentor of mine does and is so gracious to let me be apart of every year. I was so glad that I was there this year even though I had just given birth and was bummed that I was not in the shape I want to be to do such things. Watch for this film on the Local Boise access channel but will try to post the film or pictures on this wonderful workshop as soon as I get something to post.

My Man played golf with his buddies! We had alot of fun with them hanging out with them. He wishes he could move there but mmmm....the job economy there is horrible. Too bad I miss the warm weather there.

JAMIE"S FUNDRAISER YARD SALE

This is what Mj did the entire two days of the yard sale! People didn't now that the stuff she had was really in the yard sale because she played with the stuff the ENTIRE day. And then if they would go to buy something she had been playing with or one of her toys, she follow them around telling them it was hers. I would remind her we are selling it for Jamie! She would say " Oh, for Jamie! Ok, she is in the hospital and is sad huh".

My biggest helper ....my mother!

PIZZA NIGHT

We had a fun pizza night as a family in June. Made the dough from scratch and used my mad "Papa Murphy's" skills I awired as a high schoolin' ....lol. They were really good funny thing is I am not sure you really save money doing it this way. Fresh food and all the ingreatants are just about the same as going to buy one.

Ending the Spring on a great note!

2009-06-03T21:47:00.000-07:00

Lovely yard work...as you can tell he just loves it....lol~

Mj with her favorite Friend. They had so much fun playing princesses in the back yard. These are the dresses we made for the performance for the school this month. We had professional pictures taken so I will post them as soon as I get then next week.

Playing with grandpa on the 6 wheeler. She truly loves this more then anything at the moment!

Barb a Q at our friends house!

2009 Spring Show

My baby flower!!

Bo has finally arrived!

2009-05-16T21:29:00.000-07:00

5 pd 14 oz

Bad to the Bo-ne!

Nana~ she came over for the whole week to help out. She was such a huge help I am not sure I would have been able to make it through this past week if she had not come to help me. What a wonderful gift.....plus she spoiled us all every day. Thank you mom for your compassion this past week!

Already a BSU Fan!

A daddy's love

Great Grandma!

Beautiful skin....

A little toes!

Bo's first ride in the car seat! He was a very good sport.

Big sis .......well she learning how to be one.

We were all way tired after a fun packed week with our new present from heaven!

Will post Bodi soon.....

2009-05-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

Hay sorry about it taking so long to get pictures up I only have a moment to say they are on there way! I will post some as soon as I get them in the computer......to be continued....lol!

Horse Expo and Bodi bellies too!

2009-05-03T21:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this looks a little weird but it a tradition to take this picture around 36-38 weeks just to show excatly how big I really do feel and look. Plus its a good reminder to My Man just how big I have gotten. They seem to forget so easily wouldn't that be nice......

Playin at the Horse Expo this last Saturday! Here Mj is riding the every steady "Princess"!

I'll make a cowboy out of him yet....lol!

Mj is so excited to pay for her pony ride with her own money from her Nana. She Loves horses!

My City boy that I will country fie at some point.....not sure if that will happen in my life time.

My mother a natural with horse I learned everything I know from her. Got to love that!

Baby Bodi learning the ways of the cowboy....lol! Plus I needed a new picture of the bellie!

Below we are in action!