Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My anniversary ....9 YEARS!

Wanted to share a few thoughts about it being my 9 year today. Nov 30th 2002

Look how young and SERIOUS we look in this photo. We are ready to take on the world! I could go on about how dreamy he was to me, how he was my knight and on and on. Really I want to point out how THANKFUL I am to have made it to 9 years with my MAN.
Marriage is tough cookies. Its like wearing a business suit everyday to work. Coming to a place where to know one another so well that you can WORK for each other. I never get the idea about "My marriage is falling apart ....and I don't know why?" Yes you do! One of you has stopped working. Marriage is meant to be hard. That is why it so divine and sacred. If it were a walk in the park it wouldn't mold and shape you into a better person. We have been through some REALLY hard paths so far ....I say so far, because I think what I have been through is hard but I know MORE lies ahead. Which is ok! Trust is what everyone knows makes a marriage function. I believe that TRUST is not only about how much your BOTH working in the marriage. Its also about YOU knowing with every fiber of your being you've been through trials and you have tools for YOU to make it through them again. Oddly, its not really about what the other person does that gives out TRUST because you are the one who makes your way NOT them. I can't MAKE my companion LOVE me, work FOR me and make him want who I WANT him to be. I can only trust that I have the tools to handle what trial is before me and know I WILL make it through better for it. In that I find my peace. That KNOWING I have given my all, 100% and owed my part in the mistakes. Then there is no regret for having been through the tough times because you would change having gone through them if you could. I am married to a man who has loved me when I have been difficult to LOVE, shared his needs when he felt it was useless and spoke his truths when it was hard for me to hear. Learning to be free from each other so you can help and not hinder. So can truly listen. Learning to cling to each other through each others trials. So no one feels abandoned.
One of my favorite saying from a marriage councilor was .....(yes counseling is not a bad thing..haha)

"I will walk with you to hell my friend as you work
but if you do not work then you can go to hell yourself."

What freedom in that saying! I am in control of my own life EVEN in a marriage. I can choose to stay or go. If I can say that I have tried MY 100% and owned my short comings then that brings peace. I am thankful for the Heavenly Father and Savior's hand in my marriage. Through the Holy Ghost I was able to see that I had a true companion that loves my husband and me more then I could ever comprehend. His ever watchful eye in my life was there all the time. I didn't realize how close they where until I went through troubling times. I wouldn't change it for all the riches in the world.

I love you baby. Thank you for loving me even at my worst!

1 comment:

Jamie said...

9 years, WOW, Congrats!. . . .I was just thinking that on our 9 year anniversary I was in Pittsburgh in the ICU recovering from my transplant with my faithful and loving husband by my side. Our 9 year was an anniversary we almost didn't get to celebrate!

Your counselor gave you great advise, it is a full time job to keep a marriage together. It takes both people recommitting every day to love each other and give 110%.