Monday, May 3, 2010

A Talk with my Father














This post is about a spiritual experience I had this past Friday. Lately, where I live there had some beautiful days and then some bad days where it rains and the wind blows. But this past Friday it was one of those day where it couldn't make up it mind what it was going to do. So I decided to finish pruning one of the trees I was working on in my front yard. I always tend to listen to my IPod as I am working. I just think it helps the work go by faster and I was listening to it this day as I worked. I was finishing up raking up the mess from one of the trees. I began to ponder how I was doing in my life spiritually....prayer is always a topic of conversation between me and the lord. I have always had a hard time praying nightly and on rare occasions will remember to pray in the morning before I start my day. I was talking with my Father in Heaven about this wondering why I feel so empty lately. I knew it had to be from my most resent trial I went through. I felt weakened by all the pain it caused me. A kind of dark cloud or fog was around my thoughts when I reflected back to that hard time. Somewhere in this conversion with him I got an impression, a metaphor I had heard sometime back, "the lord didn't move, you did. That's why you can't feel his light anymore." I thought back in my life "Why is it so hard?" I was referring to life, the trial I went through and this simple metaphor. "Why is IT so hard?" with this, I stopped and I looked up. I saw beautiful clouds in the sky. The sun was hiding behind them just waiting for them you move so it could share it warmth. My thoughts were on the trees in my yard and the neighbors. They were so tall that if you looked up it was almost like you weren't in town but out in the country, which is wonderful to me being little farm girl at heart. My IPod stopped. I looked down to notice it powering down. I knew it was charged and it never just stops. So I waited for it to turn back on and quickly went back to "shuffle mode". My IPod is almost predicable on the songs it picks to put in this mode. But this time it came to a church song called "Who you are" by Hailary Weeks as the very first song. In my panic to HAVE to listen to a church song began pushing the over button like 4 times....a soft whisper came to me and said "Stop. Listen" In that moment I said back..."What do you want to say?" and began listening to the song. I could not believe that this song was everything I think Heavenly Father had been trying to say to me but I never "Stopped. Listened" without falling asleep or running to the next thing everyday. It spoke right to my soul and I found myself crying while I looked up at the sky leaning on my rake with both hands. I was in aha at how it was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. I tried to calm down by began to rake again but each line of the song made my heart swell. I thought "Man, I hope no one pulls up right now....how am I going to explain this." As the song was finishing, I stopped and looked up again, just as the last line of the song was being sung "Don't lose sight in the truth your daughter of God, he believes in who your becoming, He believes in who you are." the clouds moved and the sun shown down on me I could feel its warmth and knew what the lord was saying to me..."I never moved you did. I wait for you every night and every morning" In the moments after I found myself thinking that I must be hormonal right now or some other reason for this to have occurred but I couldn't deny the perfectness of it, I know this world in not perfect. This had be more. I realized and even wondered, how many times this type thing has happened in the past and I have wrote it off as nothing. My hope is to never to this because I had a special moment with my Father in Heaven and I know it was real.....


As a side note: Later my I said to my friend when relying this story to her through my tears..."Man, Heavenly Father must be really hip if he can speak to me through my IPod too!"

5 comments:

Jamie said...

What a great post Nikkii. I am glad you were able to find peace and inspiration. You're not crazy, the Lord spoke to me over 3 years ago through the Josh Groban song "You are loved". Music is powerful and sometimes when nothing seems to touch our heart. . .music usually can. I don't recognize the song you wrote about, I will have to look it up.Love You.

*Here is a trick Bryan and I do to make sure we say our prayers at night. Whoever remembers to pray says "your turn to say the prayer" an whoever didn't remember or say it first says the prayer! It gets fun to see who always remembers and it challenges us to be the first one to remember :)

Our Family said...

What a beautiful post Nikki! Thanks for sharing! I have always felt music can be the Lord's answer, if we listen. I have had a similar experience, many years ago when we found out my moms' cancer was back and she didn't have long to live. I won't go into details, but that song still gets me emotional whenever I hear it.
Again, thanks for sharing this beautiful moment with us!

The Neads said...

Music is a powerful thing.. I get those "AHH" moments with the Lord and those are the only things that keep me going.. :) I'm glad we met out in Virginia... you are a GREAT person.. :)

periwinkle4 said...

What a beautiful experience! You really are loved. Father in Heaven really does want to help us and be with us. And it is so true that music is so powerful. Hugs to you!

Teresa said...

What a lovely post. I stumbled on this site quite by accident and truly enjoyed it. I just got off the phome trying to console my daughter who lives in San Diego. She has 3 kids and her husband is in Iraq (they are both in the Navy they are expecting their 4th and last child in November)She just had a meltdown because life seemed so hard today. I passed this blog on to her. Thank You you said it perfectly!